I Want Everybody to Like Me

“I have been trying to be accepted, but God wants me to be myself.” I spoke them aloud out of a deep reverie this morning. These words were the conclusion of my thoughts on the use of my skills and talents, and my community relationships. I’ve learnt the hard way that that being yourself is better than being who people want to be. Those that won’t like you for being yourself will never like you for being what they want you to be.

As I mulled over these words, a close confidant that heard me spoke up and these were his words. “If people don’t like God who created them, why do you expect to be liked by everyone? God did many great miracles in the Bible and He still does great ones today yet there are many who are anti-God and hate Him. He saved His people from their enemies, parted the sea to make a way for them and even sacrificed His only son to save everyone, yet not everyone likes Him. If all people don’t like God, despite His goodness and power, then don’t expect everyone to like you. He is a scientific God that operates on principles. You cannot say because you love Him you will climb to the top of the CN Tower and jump down. He will not stop your death. There are people who hate Him and even get paid to malign His person and reputation but He doesn’t go after them for it. He still loves them but they reject His love and show Him how much they hate Him as often as they find the opportunity. He is impartial and consistent without double standards and in spite of it, not everyone likes Him.”

If you’ve been trying to fit into a certain mold, either of your own making to please people or of people’s making and it goes against your grain, diminishes your confidence in yourself and abilities or makes you feel less than yourself, it is time for you to stop. Stop trying to fit into a mold that is not you. As long as you think right, speak right and do right, please be yourself. Live your life on your own terms not on people’s terms. Do your best with what you have. Reach within yourself and find that voice that is authentically yours and then, use it. Use it to regain yourself for yourself not for anyone else.

Everybody cannot like you but you must like…, no, you must love yourself!

Put Him First

I’ve been worried sick by different relationships in the past couple of days.

Some people in my life seemed like they were no longer there. Relationships seemed to have cooled off.

My messages were not returned and every appointment seemed impossible to meet.

My mind has been whirling with all kinds of concerns. I kept running every conversation through my mind to find where I may have made a mistake.

Did I do something? Was it something I said?

Several thoughts about the situation came and went in my mind. These thoughts flowed through my mind morning, noon and night. I woke up, lived through the day and went to bed with them.

This morning the Holy Spirit stopped me in my tracks with a question – “Why do you worry so much about your relationship with man who cannot determine the course of your life even with their best intentions? Why do you worry so much about man and leave your relationship with the Father unattended? You have not spoken to Him who holds your future in His hands nor sought His face and yet you wonder that your messages to a human remained unreturned?”

I had begun a Bible-in-a-year study and I had missed several days and I wasn’t really worried about it. Somewhere in my mind the thought was “I will get to it” and the days were piling up. I wasn’t worrying about getting to know Him better through His word but I was here dissecting every piece of communication and every moment of interaction with someone I felt was valuable to me. He who gave His all for me, just wanted a little of my time and I wasn’t bothered about giving Him any. Rather, I was hungering for this person’s call, text or message.

When last did I worry that I hadn’t spoken to ‘Him who first loved me’?

When last did I plan to spend time with Him? When last did I seek out his thought on that decision I am planning to make? When last did I worry about pleasing Him? When last did I comb through my day to make sure that I did not offend Him?  When last did I put Him first?

My foolishness is becoming very obvious and I wonder how many of us become encumbered by our relationships with humans and never give a thought to our relationship with our Loving Father.

How foolish I have been to worry about man who cannot turn God’s heart to me instead of ensuring that I was pleasing the God who has every man’s heart in His hand.

Am hoping I will live more wisely, learning to put my time and thoughts on Him instead of worrying about what man thinks, says or does.

DON'T BLAME YOU FOR THEIR REJECTION

There is nothing more devastating than rejection because rejection shatters dreams and hopes.
It causes you to stagger on your path. It makes you doubt yourself.
If suddenly your life seems like a catalogue of rejections, you begin to flounder.
Your once strong disposition and belief in your vision crumbles under the weight of despair.
To be rejected by those whom you love is a pain incomparable to none other.
Your safe space suddenly turns to your pain place.
You become scared. Scared to live, scared to love and even scared to laugh.
Could it be me? You ask. What did I do? What did I say? What did they hear about me?
Innumerable questions and a gamut of scenarios spin around in your head.
The truth is, there are no answers to the questions. Even if you asked them directly, their answer would probably be a lie.
Many times those who reject you do not need any prompts. You didn’t cause it. It’s not your fault. You are good enough to be loved. You are worth standing by.
If you feel that your mistakes have given them a good excuse, know that your value is not diminished by your mistakes.
Look at it this way. I went to the bank and for the first time since I got to Canada, I received a $100 bill in the cash I withdrew. “$100 bill!” I exclaimed in my mind.
I kept it inside my wallet and brought it out from time to time to admire. I spent every other lesser bill I had but didn’t want to spend my $100 bill.
Last night I looked inside my wallet and I couldn’t find my $100 bill. I frantically searched everywhere but didn’t find it.
This morning I decided to go through all the garbage cans in the house. I didn’t find it.
I then went to the big garbage can outside and there in a mix of rotten fruit peels, tomatoes and other waste, I saw my precious $100 bill. It was all messed up but I rinsed it off and let it dry.
Let me ask you this question? Did my $100 bill become less valuable because it had been in the garbage with rotten food?
No!
In the same way, you are not less valuable because of your mistakes. Your challenges have not diminished your value in any way. You are still enough for the world. You are enough in every way.
There is no excuse that makes you bad enough to be rejected.

We Have Authority

Yesterday, I believed I committed a faux pas so shame and blame flogged me relentlessly. 

I tried to stuff myself with a very rich cream cake but that didn't help. My last thoughts yesternight and my first thoughts this morning, were of this 'great' mistake.

I was so weighed down by it that I almost didn't go for my morning walk. I sluggishly dressed up determined to keep my commitment to myself and then commenced on my walk.

My start was quite slow because I was carrying this burden that made every step so hard for me, but I kept plodding along.

I normally play Gospel songs on my morning walks but this morning I didn't even feel like playing any song, so I began facebooking. 

I had promised myself that I will never go to Facebook on my morning walk, but this morning I did. After about 5 minutes of facebooking, I realized what I was doing and stopped.

5 minutes later, I remembered Andrae Crouch's "Through it all", googled it on my phone and began to play it. Surprisingly, that didn't really make me feel any better. Normally playing gospel songs precedes my time of prayer, praise and worship, but I couldn't even open my mouth this morning. 

I kept replaying the song until I had a 'Eureka' moment. 

I remembered a conversation I had with a friend yesterday about how the most difficult battle we fight with ourselves in our time of pain, is the one we fight within our minds. 

Joyce Meyer's book "The Battlefield of the mind" also came to my mind at this point and I asked myself what I was doing allowing the devil mess with my mind. I immediately rebuked him and told the spirits of shame and blame to be silent and go back to hell where they belonged.

After doing this, I continued to listen to the song and about 5 minutes later, I realized I no longer had the burden and yesterday's faux pas was no longer a sword of Damocles hanging over my head. I was free! 

This really got me thinking of the authority that we have as believers and how often we as Christians, go about in life assaulted and traumatized by the devil because we don't use it.

If we don't use our authority, the devil will continue to run roughshod over our lives and emotions and, we will never live victorious lives. We have to speak to him, commanding him in the name of Jesus and he has no choice but to obey.

As long as we're alive, the battle does not stop, so we have to be alert to recognize his wiles.

We must learn to be deliberate in our walk and determined to emerge victorious from every battle he brings our way.

Remember, the outcome was sealed on Calvary's Cross. Victory is already ours, we just need to lay hold of it by using our authority.