Saturday, August 7, 2010

HOW TO GET A GOD FEARING MAN

On the December 2, 2009 episode of ‘Sharing life issues with Chaz B’, a talk show on 92.3 Inspiration FM, a Nigerian radio station, all the ladies that called in listed ‘being God fearing’ as their number one characteristic of a life partner. 

This got me thinking. Ladies want to marry a God fearing man. How do you get him? Where do you find him? 

The Bible says ‘deep calls unto the deep’, so to get a God fearing man, we need to be God fearing as well. 

You say you are but let me ask a question. What does it mean to be God fearing? 

When the Holy Books and even the world talks about the God fearing, it is talking about the people that "abide by His rules", "look to Him in need", "do His will to honor Him, because they know it’s right (good)". The New Living Translation of the Bible titles Deuteronomy 10:12 as ‘A Call to Love and Obedience’ and says “And now, Israel, what does the Lord your God require of you? He requires only that you fear the Lord your God, and live in a way that pleases him, and love him and serve him with all your heart and soul.”

One of the things that show that you are God fearing is living a life that is in total obedience to God’s word, not compromising God’s standards. You want to marry a God fearing man but he sees you lie to your family and boss at work just to spend time with him. He sees you sleep over at his place at the slightest excuse, though you make sure you both go to church together. He sees your double standards. 

You know what? We all need somebody to challenge us to improvement. You meet a guy who likes you because he thinks you are God fearing and he wants to be better at the whole ‘God fearing’ thing. So he hooks up with you and then over time, you burst his bubble because he tries you and to make him happy, you compromise. 

Sister, he does not want you to make him happy, he just wants to be assured that there are girls that can keep their words out there. He wants to see if you truly love God and can be trusted. 

Every time you give in to his demands, you disappoint him and move him further away from you and God. As time goes on, after several such interfaces with different supposedly ‘God fearing’ ladies, he decides there are none and he gets married to one of the lot and then unleashes his true self on her. 

Every time you compromise, you let him down and worse, you let God down. 

There are God fearing men out there when they meet God fearing women. 

I know this because I have seen so many women not compromise and eat the good of their man’s land. 

A very close friend of mine met her husband during her national youth service (NYSC in Nigeria). She was so into Christ and today, they are married because she kept God’s standards. He proudly talks about their courtship. How he tested her severally but she kept God’s standards. 

Because of her influence, he became a serving Christian and some years after, they wedded. Till date, over a decade after, they have true marital bliss. Yes, the type you imagine and I can tell you, some people actually live it. 

Groom yourself to live, serve and obey God and you will soon meet ‘Mr. I want to be God fearing’. When you meet him, your conduct will sharpen him to become ‘Mr. God fearing’, the one you dream about. 

Remember, the Holy Book says “Iron sharpeneth iron...” (Proverbs 27:17, KJV). Be the iron that will sharpen others and your dream will come true. You know when you seek to live God’s standards (“...seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness…”), He will meet you at the very point of your need (“… and all ‘other’ things will be added unto you.”), Mathew 6:33a, KJV. 

STRIVE TO LOVE LIKE CHRIST

Love means so much to me and I so want to be known for it. Not only do I want to be known for loving others in a Christlike manner, I would also like everyone especially those that claim to be Christians to strive to love like Christ did as well.
Loving others should not be a Sunday only event but it should be our daily lifestyle.
We should love everywhere and everyone. We should demonstrate love in our business dealings, at work, in our homes, in church, etc.
Love is tough because it exposes our weaknesses and stretches us in so many ways. Margaret Walker says "Love stretches your heart and makes you big inside."
Love is selfless, it puts others first. Robert Heinlein in "Stranger in a Strange Land" said Love is. . . "That condition whereby the happiness of another is essential to your own."
I desire to love like Christ but I know I often fall short of His standards and I constantly ask myself the question “what is love?”; I went digging and here are some of the answers I got.
 Love is a strong positive emotion of regard and affection – Google
 As an abstract concept, love usually refers to a deep, ineffable feeling of tenderly caring for another person. Even this limited conception of love, however, encompasses a wealth of different feelings, from the passionate desire and intimacy of romantic love to the nonsexual emotional closeness of familial and platonic love to the profound oneness or devotion of religious love. - Wikipedia
 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. - 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, NIV
 Love seeks no cause beyond itself and no fruit; it is its own fruit, its own enjoyment. I love because I love; I love in order that I may love. - St. Bernard 1090-1153, French Theologian and Reformer
 Love is "The willful intent to serve the well being of another." - M. Scott Peck
 Love is seeing an imperfect person perfectly. - Sam Keen
 Love is the ability and willingness to allow those you care for to be what they choose for themselves, without any insistence that they satisfy you. - Leo Buscaglia
 Love is friendship set on fire. - Jeremy Taylor
 "Love has no awareness of merit or demerit; it has no scale... Love loves; this is its nature." - Howard Thurman
 "Love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a habit." - Peter Ustinov
 Logic says everything in this world has a cause and an effect. True Love is the only feeling which is its own cause and its own effect. It is something illogical and yet above all logic. I Love her because I Love her, and I Love her so I Love her. - Prateek Kumar Singh
 Love is loving someone without expecting anything in return; no judgments, no restrictions; no limitations; no expectations! Love is expressed when you are being someone who loves someone for who they are, not who you think they should be. True love has a foundation of integrity, respect, faith and trust. Love is the force that brings about unity and harmony. – Larry James, Celebratelove.com
No matter the answers I get there is one thing I know from the experience of countless ‘lovers’ like me. Love is a decision. You have to decide to love regardless of what the other person does. This decision makes you look like a fool because you keep on loving those who act otherwise to you.
I have experienced hurt and pain, I have experienced situations where I have been cheated but my decision to keep on loving has kept me going. I have an idea of what Jesus was thinking when he said “forgive them for they know not what they are doing”. It hurts but I leave it in the hand of my father who sees and knows it all.
Love puts you on the path that pleases God so, do not stop loving. Remember, "In the final analysis, love is the only reflection of man's worth." - Bill Wundram, Iowa Quad Cities Times

Sunday, March 28, 2010

BELIEVE THE BEST OF EVERYONE YOU MEET

Assumptions destroy relationships. I know this because I have seen it happen several times.
You are working really hard in your company and bringing in a lot of money because you believe in doing your work as unto God and some of your colleagues assume you must be creaming the company through deals and then you hear the wicked whispers about you.
You are in a business relationship doing your best to be as transparent and honest as you can but the other party assumes you must be making a kill and decides to make sure you don’t make as much as they think you are making.
You are working late, doing your best to serve your organization and keep your family on the standard you desire and your spouse assumes you must be playing an 'away match' with someone else and then accuses you of infidelity.
There are countless examples but the end result remains the same – hurts, heartbreaks and broken relationships.
The worst result is the burden YOU end up carrying because of lack of trust. You read meanings into everything the other party says or does. You stress your spirit, soul and body and most times over what does not exist.
No relationship thrives without trust. Trust is the bedrock of true progress.
Why do you go into a relationship assuming that the worst would happen, assuming that the other party is a cheat?
STOP for a moment. Could it be that you are capable of cheating others that is why you think others are cheats? If you feel insulted by this, think about what your actions and words are doing to others.
Why don’t you free your mind and think the best of others? God does not sleep, he sees it all. Why don’t you let God be God and you be the human being he made you?
I recently had a business transaction where the contractor did not do what was agreed and when I complained, he began to threaten me and using sentences that included the phrase “…people like you”. I got the understanding that he had stereotyped me. I still don’t know what those people are like because I have spoken to several people including my lawyers and I did not in anyway want to cheat him.
Working or relating with people who stereotype you is a very difficult situation indeed. It’s like the saying “hang the dog and give it a bad name”. A man that has assumed that women are difficult clients will never listen to his female clients and will end up not getting their briefs right and then blaming them. It’s a tough call indeed, basing decisions on assumptions.
It is better to believe the best of everyone you meet and also be the best you can be in everything you get involved in and on this route, you will never fail to build great relationships.

Sunday, March 7, 2010

WHEN LIFE HAPPENS, WHAT DO YOU DO?

You have got it all figured out. You have made all the plans and bang! Life happens.
What is life? Opportunities, challenges, joys, sorrows, ups & downs.
No matter how carefully you planned, things can change suddenly.
In the book ‘Who Moved My Cheese?’ by Dr. Spencer Johnson, you see a classic example of how people react to changes in life. You need to read it because it will change the way you deal with changes. It will help you choose either to be reactive or responsive.
Two animals help me put our reactions to changes in perspective.
Are you an ostrich? When life happens, do you put your head in the sand and hope it gets sorted out by itself. That is living in denial. When life happens, you need to grab the bull by the horns and move it in the direction you want.
That you deny the existence of the sun does not change the fact that the sun exists.
Are you a lion? When life happens, you do not cower in your cage but you stride majestically to face it head on.
Yes, that’s the spirit. To succeed in life, you need the spirit of the lion. You need to be bold and courageous. You need to say ‘No!’ to fear and walk out to seek solutions to problems.
When life happens, be challenged to seek new ways of dealing with issues and situations.
Jack Welch said "Control your destiny or someone else will". At the end, your life is still your responsibility.
As a woman, especially in Africa, you may use your husband as an excuse for non-achievement but I tell you at the end, it will not hold water even to you.
When you know what you want, changes and challenges will not move you off your course rather they will help you sharpen your tools as you find new ways to navigate the twists and turns they throw onto your path.
Smith Wigglesworth became a great evangelist because his wife did not give up on her faith. When he harassed her for going to church, she was not moved to react rather she responded with love and that love eventually convicted him to salvation.
What if she had given up on her faith when he was locking her out even on cold and windy winter nights? We would never have had a Smith Wigglesworth as a father of faith.
When life happens, hang in there, do not give up. Hold on because there is always light at the end of every tunnel, but you will only see it when you go the whole hog to the end.
One thing that helps is having a goal. It helps keep you focused on the light at the end rather than the darkness in your immediate surroundings.
Its still early days in 2010, you can still decide on certain things, you can still have a goal for the year. Once you do, you become a magnet for the resources that you need for the achievement of your goal.
Also decide on remaining steadfast and resolute on the path to the achievement and you’ll see how creative ideas will come up every time life happens.
When life happens, take charge!

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

LET THE REAL MEN IN THE HOUSE STAND UP

There are different types of men in the world. Some are ‘just men’; some are ‘real men’.
‘Just men’ are men because they have the features of the male anatomy; they have the masculine gender while real men are men for a lot of reasons.

Characteristics of real men
Real men’ do not fight. They are neither road hogs that want to bamboozle the rest of us off the roads nor are they road demons that cuss and quarrel on their wheels.

‘Real men’ do not use dirty words like the F--k or P---y or B---h words. They speak decently and never get so carried away they need to have their mouths washed out with soap and water.

‘Real men’ do not harass or intimidate, but they are gentle in their dealings and relationships. That is why they are also referred to as ‘Gentlemen’.

‘Real men’ value the women in their lives and treat them like the queens that they are. They bring out the best in their woman and prod her wings open so she can fly into her destiny. Real men support their women to become as great as their potentials.

‘Real men’ can compromise their comfort and convenience for their loved ones but can never compromise their integrity. They SAY IT like they MEAN IT and they DO IT like they say it. Their word is their honour and their bond.

‘Real men’ are not selfish. They are considerate of others and they show it. They do not use their positions to ‘acquire’ but rather they use it to improve the situation of others.

‘Real men’ set good examples. They know the importance of laying a good foundation for their children and families and they spend quality time bonding with them to impact positive values. They are role models.

‘Real men’ are great fathers. They are not too big to get down and play with their children. They create time to know their children better. They are not too bogged down with work and other commitments to give their children attention. Their children know that they are important to Daddy.

‘Real men’ fear God. They do not act God but they put God first in all that they do. They do not become alpha and omega but they are humble enough to recognize the alpha and the omega in others.

‘Real men’ listen to others. They are not know alls, rather they seek and value the input of those around them.

‘Real men’ are the gem of men. They are not easy to come by and when you know one, count it a privilege. Treat them with all respect because they deserve it. Make sure they know they are valuable to you.

Are you a ‘Real man’ out there? Please stand up to be counted.

I doff my hat to you and express my appreciations. Thank you for being the epitome of manhood. Thank you for being a ‘Real man’!

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

QUALITY DETERMINES THE SPEED OF BRAND ENTRENCHMENT

Quality determines the speed of brand entrenchment.
The better the quality of your product or service, the faster your brand would be built and entrenched.
You determine the initial standard but your clients/consumers determine subsequent standards.
If you want to engender brand loyalty, you need to listen to your consumers. They are the ones who know what can ‘wow!’ them and that is exactly what a good brand does – it leaves customers with an exciting and fulfilling feeling. Its actually all about the feeling and experience.
When ‘craigslist.org’ started it was just an email distribution list informing friends about forthcoming tech and art events in the San Francisco area of the United States.
From suggestions and enquiries, the contents of the email and the mailing list expanded till it became a website constantly expanding in line with the demands of their users. The site is now the #7 ranked site in the US and the 25th globally.
This is what the value you place on client feedback can do for you.
How important are your clients to you?
Do your brand values reflect their importance?
Do your customers know it, can they identify it from their interface with your product or service?
You must consistently communicate this in all the interfaces your client has with your product/service. It must be 'felt' by them. They must be satisfied with what you offer.
They are your first marketing communication medium.