When the Jacket no longer Fits

This jacket has been outgrown by my 2^nd daughter and I have no other daughter after her, so it can no longer remain in the family.

It comes from a time when Miley Cyrus was still Hannah Montana, the sweet role model for little girls, and it has served us very well. 

My sister bought it for my 1^st born 9 years ago. After she wore it for 3 years, I loved it so much that I kept it for her baby sister to inherit when she was big enough.

I loved this jacket so much, I brought it from 1 continent through 2 others till we landed on the 4^th continent where my younger daughter has enjoyed wearing it for the last 3 years. It has been well worn and has still got some life left in it. J

As I folded it in readiness for donating to Charity last night, I looked at it and wished I could still keep it. In fact, I didn’t let my daughter see it because she doesn’t want to give it up even though she can barely fit into it.

In life, there are relationships that are like this jacket. We love them so much and when they fit, they made us look fabulous. Even now, they still look fabulous but they no longer fit us. It is a bittersweet parting, bitter goodbyes with sweet memories.

We need to know when we’ve outgrown a relationship, when being in it no longer fits us. We need to know when to walk away from things we love but are no longer working.

 As much as you love your boss and your colleagues, that job is no longer challenging enough. You’ve shared so many memorable moments and events together but, that 'friend' is no longer your friend. You've made so many friends there, but that Church is no longer meeting your spiritual needs. Your neighbours are so nice and friendly but that house is no longer big enough for your growing family.

Sometimes, we have to make these hard decisions and let go of those people, places, things or organizations that we’ve grown so attached to.

As much as we would like to hold unto them, they no longer meet our needs and if we continue to hold unto them, we will end up tearing them to shreds.

We must learn to let go when the jacket no longer fits.

NOW CHURCH IS JUDGE?

Not good enough for your spouse? Not good enough for your children? Not good enough for your family? Not good enough for your friends? You’ll expect to be good enough for your Church.

But what do you find? Judgment. Judgment. Judgment.

They judge you for how you talk, how you dress, how you be yourself.

They even judge you for how you serve God.

They have a standard, backed up by scripture, which you should live by.

They forget that the scripture can be twisted to suit each one’s purpose, even the devil’s.

Slave masters, dealers and owners backed up slavery with scripture. ⁴⁴“However, you may purchase male and female slaves from among the nations around you. ⁴⁵ You may also purchase the children of temporary residents who live among you, including those who have been born in your land. You may treat them as your property, ⁴⁶ passing them on to your children as a permanent inheritance. You may treat them as slaves, but you must never treat your fellow Israelites this way”. [Leviticus 25:44-46 NLT]

Some abusive husbands support their actions with the bible. “²² You wives must submit to your husbands’ leadership in the same way you submit to the Lord. ²³ For a husband is in charge of his wife in the same way Christ is in charge of his body the Church. (He gave his very life to take care of it and be its Savior!) ²⁴ So you wives must willingly obey your husbands in everything, just as the Church obeys Christ.” [Ephesians 5:22-24 TLB]

Even alcoholics have a scripture that they use to support their habits. “Go ahead and drink a little wine, for instance; it’s good for your digestion, good medicine for what ails you.” [1 Timothy 5:23 MSG]

Many are being driven from Church by Church leadership and members, because of judgment.

Those who need Jesus refuse to accept him because of how much pain they’ve seen committed Christians take from fellow believers.

Is this God's mandate?

If we all had to become the same, there would be no brusque Peter, feisty Paul or placid John.

If gentleness was all that was required, then every Peter and Paul will not work for God.

People have cut short their commitment to Churches because of the abuse they’ve suffered in the hands of leadership and members.

Those who are bold enough to confront their ‘judges’ meet with scriptural quotations justifying the act. When somebody has been hurt by you, no matter how you defend your position, it is not okay to ignore it and sweep it under the carpet. There is a message in Mathew 7:1-5 about it.

“Don’t pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults— unless, of course, you want the same treatment. That critical spirit has a way of boomeranging. It’s easy to see a smudge on your neighbor’s face and be oblivious to the ugly sneer on your own. Do you have the nerve to say, ‘Let me wash your face for you,’ when your own face is distorted by contempt? It’s this whole traveling road-show mentality all over again, playing a holier-than-thou part instead of just living your part. Wipe that ugly sneer off your own face, and you might be fit to offer a washcloth to your neighbor.” [MSG]

A couple of months ago, I saw a lady in the washroom of my church. She engaged me in conversation but I had to cut it short since I was supposed to lead Praise and Worship. After Praise and worship, I went to the washroom again and she came in almost immediately, she started complimenting me on the Praise and Worship and began to rub herself on me claiming that she wanted a rub-off of the anointing. I thought there was something weird about her behavior but could not place what it was.

After service, I asked someone who knew her closely and she told me she had developed serious mental health problems. I asked her why the church was not informed and she told me she did not want to gossip about her. Whilst I was talking to her, another person came up and smugly said she knew her case.

I left Church that day with a deep sense of sadness and wonder.

I wondered if we as Christians still understand the concept of being our brother’s keepers. I wondered how much pain that lady went through silently without having anyone to share it with. I wondered about the ‘culture of shame’ in the church. People are shamed for speaking out about their challenges, so whilst trying to keep up appearances, many have developed all kinds of problems.

As a Christian, what do you do with your knowledge of a brother or sister’s challenge? Do you use it as dinner table gist, conversation starters or a tool to put them in their place? Or do you seek help for them and support them through it?

When did the Church become a place where one had to be perfect to be accepted? Why do we judge ourselves so harshly?

Didn’t Jesus say the healthy had no need for a doctor?¹⁰

 Later, Matthew invited Jesus and his disciples to his home as dinner guests, along with many tax collectors and other disreputable sinners. ¹¹ But when the Pharisees saw this, they asked his disciples, “Why does your teacher eat with such scum? ¹² When Jesus heard this, he said, “Healthy people don’t need a doctor—sick people do.” ¹³ Then he added, “Now go and learn the meaning of this Scripture: ‘I want you to show mercy, not offer sacrifices.’ For I have come to call not those who think they are righteous, but those who know they are sinners.” [Matthew 9:10-13 NLT]

If I’ve become a saint or an angel, then there is no need for me to seek spiritual nourishment as I live only in the spirit realm. Right?

Yesterday I came with honest intentions, today I am being vilified for not waiting to be called upon to serve in my father’s house.

Yesterday I came with much love and affection but today I am rejected, unwanted and judged for not keeping to myself.

Now I will keep to myself, I will shut my mouth but I cannot go on.

But No, I will not shut my mouth! You will still hear from me. “ Live creatively, friends. If someone falls into sin, forgivingly restore him, saving your critical comments for yourself. You might be needing forgiveness before the day’s out. Stoop down and reach out to those who are oppressed. Share their burdens, and so complete Christ’s law. If you think you are too good for that, you are badly deceived.” [Galatians 6:2 MSG]