Love, a 4 letter word that can make or break a cord
Love, an emotion completed by action
Love, without which life is empty
Love, a little of leads you to plenty
Love, the expression of God to the world
Love, everything I need and yet all that I seek
Love, I give to live
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Monday, September 12, 2011
I AM A HUSBAND BEATER
There was a post in my Facebook Group "LIFT (Ladies In Fellowship Together)" seeking advice for a sister who is constantly being physically abused by her husband and it reminded me of a certain mail I received on April 13, 2007 which I'ld like to share with you.
The sender had this to say "...I am forwarding one very interesting email I came across that would probably be good advice to the women folks out there. I have not tried it but it could help some dear sister who could be suffering. Men you are in trouble!"
I would like to get your comments on this one.
Enjoy!
The sender had this to say "...I am forwarding one very interesting email I came across that would probably be good advice to the women folks out there. I have not tried it but it could help some dear sister who could be suffering. Men you are in trouble!"
I would like to get your comments on this one.
Enjoy!
I am a husband beater! I am proud of that honestly. My husband
and I are both Zimbabwean. We were childhood friends.We were not the type
that spent time together, of course. We went to the same school and did
Computer Science at the University together. Obviously, we grew close and
we just ended up in a relationship. We got married and six months later,
decided to pack our bags and run away from crumbling Zimbabwe. We couldn't
see ourselves having children and affording them.
We came to America together. We lived in Indiana. We got jobs as assembly
workers, which was a terrible blow to our self esteem. At least I was only
a computer programmer, while my husband had been a manager.
After a few months, I was convinced by fellow Zimbabweans to ditch the
assembly line for a certified nu! rses' aide job. I went to school and
within a few weeks, I was working in a nursing home, cleaning old people's
filth.
It was a tough job and I couldn't get used to it. But, it paid the bills
handsomely, especially since I took many shifts. Our daughter was born that
year. There is no maternity leave in America. I had complications and had to
stop working. My husband worked 80 hour shifts to cover the bills until I gave birth. Our daughter was barely two weeks old before I was back on that floor, working my heart out. I couldn't take it. The smell! I had been away for too long.
My husband encouraged me to do nursing. He said I would earn more And I wouldn't have to clean up old people. I didn't want to do nursing, but it seemed like a
good idea. He said we would progress as a couple if I did nursing. He made a lot
of sense at the time. So, I sacrificed my dreams for the family. I decided to go back to school, which meant that my husband had to work more hours while I took a Licensed Practical nursing course. I felt like we were both contributing and I was so proud of my husband and I. It was about 18 months and during those months, I got
pregnant again, and had Another baby, a boy. My husband worked hard those months.
As soon as I had my diploma, I was back on the floor of the old people full time.
I had been working part time while going to school and increasing my family.
I began to make up for it by doing doubles almost every day, including weekends. Very slowly, my husband stopped working! He cut his hours from 60 at the time, to
40, which was okay, because he deserved the break, and I picked up more hours. Then he cut them to 32, and then 30 and then 24.
I said to him that since he was now home most of the time while I worked and paid the bills, could he please pick up our children from the baby sitter and watch them until I came home. He refused, so I had to work more hours to compensate for him not working and the huge baby sitter bill.
I started doing two shifts a day, from seven to three, and then From three to eleven. We needed the money! I would come home, exhausted, feet swollen and there
is my husband, drinking Heineken and smoking weed with his new black American friends. I started getting depressed and bitter!
I wondered why I had to pick up the children so late at night when he was home.
I hated coming home to a smoke filled house and strangers sitting about my living room. We started fighting. He would call me the "B" word often and I would cry from sheer exhaustion and the verbal abuse. He was verbally abusive indeed. I needed him to respect our house and to get a job! Nothing I said got through to him and our children suffered.
A fellow nurse suggested to me a few months later that I was Getting too fat because I was depressed. She was also from Zimbabwe . She suggested I join a gym or something, so that I could have some free time to myself. I started taking kick boxing classes. It was good for me. It was the one thing I could do for myself.
Well one Saturday, I came home from buying new blankets for us. I Had woken up early so that I could spend the day with my children! Before leaving for a three to eleven shift, which was probably going to turn into a double shift. I was at the mall for about four hours, which was longer than I had thought. I had left the children with him And as usual, he had locked himself up in the bedroom, watching BET television.
He left our children in the living room all by themselves. The children were still in their diapers from the previous night. In fact, the diapers were hanging about their ankles because they were soaked with urine. They hadn't eaten or drank anything. They looked like orphans, while the father had prepared himself some bacon, eggs and toast and had swallowed it down with orange juice. I had worked for that food! I worked for my children, not him. He had let his own children go without food or drink. What sort of a man was he? He didn't even realize what he had done!
I fed and bathed my children, and then got ready for work! . I took them to the
baby sitter's house and drove to work. I was fuming! I had married a useless man, I finally realized.
I came home that night, not in a good mood and the apartment was filled with people and smoke. I took my children and went straight to bed. He came after me and asked me why I had been rude to his friends. I said I was tired, but he started again. "You B. you are ugly and should be thankful that I married you. My mother told me not to marry you because you were a B. But I didn't listen to her, now look."
Hearing the commotion, his friends left. Then I turned on him. Honestly, I think I was possessed by my grandfather' s spirit or something. I used him like a punching bag, as if I was in a kick boxing class. I broke his jaw with my kick and then proceeded to ground him to nothingness, in a matter of minutes! I don't know what came over me. I felt invincible. I felt I was doing justice to my babies.
He was too ashamed to tell the police I had hit him and so I got away with it. His jaw got wired and he ate out of a straw for a very long time. He said to me he hadn't realized that I was so strong. Neither had I. But, let me tell you, he changed from that day on. There Were no more friends of his in my apartment while I worked. I realized that beating him got me results quickly, so I continued. I went to more kick boxing classes and added some judo and any other classes I could lay my hands on.
I beat him all the way into a new job. After a few black eyes and hunger, he went looking for a job! I beat himInto being a better father! I would tell him that if I came home and my babies were not home in their bed, we would have a very close conversation. I would come home and my babies are fast asleep, smelling of soap and in fresh clothes. I made him nervous, and the bedroom thing just went out of the window, but I didn't miss it at all.
I know he thinks I am crazy and I let him think that because it gives me the life I want. Every opportunity I get, I beat him! There has been peace in my home since! I am happy. That is my secret to a happy marriage.
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
JUSTICE: THE LAGOS ILAJE'S HAVE A RIGHT TO THEIR STILTS
Unbelievable. My last post was in August 2010. Its good to be back.
The way the Nigerian government takes decisions is just like how many Nigerian men handle relationships.
If the wife is nagging, they get another wife. Temporary solutions that lead to permanent problems.
The motive is always to benefit themselves. Its all a function of their selfish interests. Creating a facade of beauty whilst leaving a depth of ugliness underneath.
In the Punch of Sunday, August 28 2011, it was reported that over 15,000 people in the Ilaje Ago-Egun fishing community in Lagos were rendered homeless by the demolition of their homes on the Lagoon by the Lagos State Government. The Government's reason for doing this was because they posed an eyesore for people driving on the Third Mainland Bridge.
These people have lived there for about a century.
It did not look good so it had to go. There was no question of improvement.
It was not just that they lost their homes but it was also about losing a whole way of life, their culture and identity.
There are many communities like that in different parts of the world but they have been improved to become tourist attractions. In Benin republic, very close to us, we have Ganvie with a population of 30,000. The community is sited on Lake Nokue north of Coutonou.
Some of their houses are even painted with traditional motives and look really beautiful.
They are also mostly fisherfarmers and have lived there for centuries. They are one of the tourist attractions in Benin and the government has encouraged them to keep their heritage. Ganvie is referred to as the Venice of Africa by the international community.
Am particularly surprised that the Governor of Lagos State who has been known to be a strong advocate of the need to be conscious of the climate change would go this route when researchers in the UK, in 2009, identified building houses on stilts as a way to combat global warming.
The new urban future: stilt houses to manage global warming’s rising sea levels
We need to preserve our heritage and culture by improving them rather than deleting them from existence.
Mine is one voice speaking out against this injustice, can you please join me?
The way the Nigerian government takes decisions is just like how many Nigerian men handle relationships.
If the wife is nagging, they get another wife. Temporary solutions that lead to permanent problems.
The motive is always to benefit themselves. Its all a function of their selfish interests. Creating a facade of beauty whilst leaving a depth of ugliness underneath.
In the Punch of Sunday, August 28 2011, it was reported that over 15,000 people in the Ilaje Ago-Egun fishing community in Lagos were rendered homeless by the demolition of their homes on the Lagoon by the Lagos State Government. The Government's reason for doing this was because they posed an eyesore for people driving on the Third Mainland Bridge.
These people have lived there for about a century.
It did not look good so it had to go. There was no question of improvement.
It was not just that they lost their homes but it was also about losing a whole way of life, their culture and identity.
There are many communities like that in different parts of the world but they have been improved to become tourist attractions. In Benin republic, very close to us, we have Ganvie with a population of 30,000. The community is sited on Lake Nokue north of Coutonou.
Some of their houses are even painted with traditional motives and look really beautiful.
They are also mostly fisherfarmers and have lived there for centuries. They are one of the tourist attractions in Benin and the government has encouraged them to keep their heritage. Ganvie is referred to as the Venice of Africa by the international community.
Am particularly surprised that the Governor of Lagos State who has been known to be a strong advocate of the need to be conscious of the climate change would go this route when researchers in the UK, in 2009, identified building houses on stilts as a way to combat global warming.
The new urban future: stilt houses to manage global warming’s rising sea levels
We need to preserve our heritage and culture by improving them rather than deleting them from existence.
Mine is one voice speaking out against this injustice, can you please join me?
Saturday, August 7, 2010
HOW TO GET A GOD FEARING MAN
On the
December 2, 2009 episode of ‘Sharing life issues with Chaz B’, a talk show on
92.3 Inspiration FM, a Nigerian radio station, all the ladies that called in
listed ‘being God fearing’ as their number one characteristic of a life
partner.
This got me thinking. Ladies want to marry a God fearing man. How do you get him? Where do you find him?
The Bible says ‘deep calls unto the deep’, so to get a God fearing man, we need to be God fearing as well.
You say you are but let me ask a question. What does it mean to be God fearing?
When the Holy Books and even the world talks about the God fearing, it is talking about the people that "abide by His rules", "look to Him in need", "do His will to honor Him, because they know it’s right (good)". The New Living Translation of the Bible titles Deuteronomy 10:12 as ‘A Call to Love and Obedience’ and says “And now, Israel, what does the Lord your God require of you? He requires only that you fear the Lord your God, and live in a way that pleases him, and love him and serve him with all your heart and soul.”
This got me thinking. Ladies want to marry a God fearing man. How do you get him? Where do you find him?
The Bible says ‘deep calls unto the deep’, so to get a God fearing man, we need to be God fearing as well.
You say you are but let me ask a question. What does it mean to be God fearing?
When the Holy Books and even the world talks about the God fearing, it is talking about the people that "abide by His rules", "look to Him in need", "do His will to honor Him, because they know it’s right (good)". The New Living Translation of the Bible titles Deuteronomy 10:12 as ‘A Call to Love and Obedience’ and says “And now, Israel, what does the Lord your God require of you? He requires only that you fear the Lord your God, and live in a way that pleases him, and love him and serve him with all your heart and soul.”
One of the
things that show that you are God fearing is living a life that is in total
obedience to God’s word, not compromising God’s standards. You want to marry a
God fearing man but he sees you lie to your family and boss at work just to
spend time with him. He sees you sleep over at his place at the slightest
excuse, though you make sure you both go to church together. He sees your
double standards.
You know what? We all need somebody to challenge us to improvement. You meet a guy who likes you because he thinks you are God fearing and he wants to be better at the whole ‘God fearing’ thing. So he hooks up with you and then over time, you burst his bubble because he tries you and to make him happy, you compromise.
Sister, he does not want you to make him happy, he just wants to be assured that there are girls that can keep their words out there. He wants to see if you truly love God and can be trusted.
Every time you give in to his demands, you disappoint him and move him further away from you and God. As time goes on, after several such interfaces with different supposedly ‘God fearing’ ladies, he decides there are none and he gets married to one of the lot and then unleashes his true self on her.
Every time you compromise, you let him down and worse, you let God down.
There are God fearing men out there when they meet God fearing women.
I know this because I have seen so many women not compromise and eat the good of their man’s land.
A very close friend of mine met her husband during her national youth service (NYSC in Nigeria). She was so into Christ and today, they are married because she kept God’s standards. He proudly talks about their courtship. How he tested her severally but she kept God’s standards.
Because of her influence, he became a serving Christian and some years after, they wedded. Till date, over a decade after, they have true marital bliss. Yes, the type you imagine and I can tell you, some people actually live it.
Groom yourself to live, serve and obey God and you will soon meet ‘Mr. I want to be God fearing’. When you meet him, your conduct will sharpen him to become ‘Mr. God fearing’, the one you dream about.
Remember, the Holy Book says “Iron sharpeneth iron...” (Proverbs 27:17, KJV). Be the iron that will sharpen others and your dream will come true. You know when you seek to live God’s standards (“...seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness…”), He will meet you at the very point of your need (“… and all ‘other’ things will be added unto you.”), Mathew 6:33a, KJV.
You know what? We all need somebody to challenge us to improvement. You meet a guy who likes you because he thinks you are God fearing and he wants to be better at the whole ‘God fearing’ thing. So he hooks up with you and then over time, you burst his bubble because he tries you and to make him happy, you compromise.
Sister, he does not want you to make him happy, he just wants to be assured that there are girls that can keep their words out there. He wants to see if you truly love God and can be trusted.
Every time you give in to his demands, you disappoint him and move him further away from you and God. As time goes on, after several such interfaces with different supposedly ‘God fearing’ ladies, he decides there are none and he gets married to one of the lot and then unleashes his true self on her.
Every time you compromise, you let him down and worse, you let God down.
There are God fearing men out there when they meet God fearing women.
I know this because I have seen so many women not compromise and eat the good of their man’s land.
A very close friend of mine met her husband during her national youth service (NYSC in Nigeria). She was so into Christ and today, they are married because she kept God’s standards. He proudly talks about their courtship. How he tested her severally but she kept God’s standards.
Because of her influence, he became a serving Christian and some years after, they wedded. Till date, over a decade after, they have true marital bliss. Yes, the type you imagine and I can tell you, some people actually live it.
Groom yourself to live, serve and obey God and you will soon meet ‘Mr. I want to be God fearing’. When you meet him, your conduct will sharpen him to become ‘Mr. God fearing’, the one you dream about.
Remember, the Holy Book says “Iron sharpeneth iron...” (Proverbs 27:17, KJV). Be the iron that will sharpen others and your dream will come true. You know when you seek to live God’s standards (“...seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness…”), He will meet you at the very point of your need (“… and all ‘other’ things will be added unto you.”), Mathew 6:33a, KJV.
STRIVE TO LOVE LIKE CHRIST
Love means so much to me and I so want to be known for it. Not only do I want to be known for loving others in a Christlike manner, I would also like everyone especially those that claim to be Christians to strive to love like Christ did as well.
Loving others should not be a Sunday only event but it should be our daily lifestyle.
We should love everywhere and everyone. We should demonstrate love in our business dealings, at work, in our homes, in church, etc.
Love is tough because it exposes our weaknesses and stretches us in so many ways. Margaret Walker says "Love stretches your heart and makes you big inside."
Love is selfless, it puts others first. Robert Heinlein in "Stranger in a Strange Land" said Love is. . . "That condition whereby the happiness of another is essential to your own."
I desire to love like Christ but I know I often fall short of His standards and I constantly ask myself the question “what is love?”; I went digging and here are some of the answers I got.
Love is a strong positive emotion of regard and affection – Google
As an abstract concept, love usually refers to a deep, ineffable feeling of tenderly caring for another person. Even this limited conception of love, however, encompasses a wealth of different feelings, from the passionate desire and intimacy of romantic love to the nonsexual emotional closeness of familial and platonic love to the profound oneness or devotion of religious love. - Wikipedia
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. - 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, NIV
Love seeks no cause beyond itself and no fruit; it is its own fruit, its own enjoyment. I love because I love; I love in order that I may love. - St. Bernard 1090-1153, French Theologian and Reformer
Love is "The willful intent to serve the well being of another." - M. Scott Peck
Love is seeing an imperfect person perfectly. - Sam Keen
Love is the ability and willingness to allow those you care for to be what they choose for themselves, without any insistence that they satisfy you. - Leo Buscaglia
Love is friendship set on fire. - Jeremy Taylor
"Love has no awareness of merit or demerit; it has no scale... Love loves; this is its nature." - Howard Thurman
"Love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a habit." - Peter Ustinov
Logic says everything in this world has a cause and an effect. True Love is the only feeling which is its own cause and its own effect. It is something illogical and yet above all logic. I Love her because I Love her, and I Love her so I Love her. - Prateek Kumar Singh
Love is loving someone without expecting anything in return; no judgments, no restrictions; no limitations; no expectations! Love is expressed when you are being someone who loves someone for who they are, not who you think they should be. True love has a foundation of integrity, respect, faith and trust. Love is the force that brings about unity and harmony. – Larry James, Celebratelove.com
No matter the answers I get there is one thing I know from the experience of countless ‘lovers’ like me. Love is a decision. You have to decide to love regardless of what the other person does. This decision makes you look like a fool because you keep on loving those who act otherwise to you.
I have experienced hurt and pain, I have experienced situations where I have been cheated but my decision to keep on loving has kept me going. I have an idea of what Jesus was thinking when he said “forgive them for they know not what they are doing”. It hurts but I leave it in the hand of my father who sees and knows it all.
Love puts you on the path that pleases God so, do not stop loving. Remember, "In the final analysis, love is the only reflection of man's worth." - Bill Wundram, Iowa Quad Cities Times
Loving others should not be a Sunday only event but it should be our daily lifestyle.
We should love everywhere and everyone. We should demonstrate love in our business dealings, at work, in our homes, in church, etc.
Love is tough because it exposes our weaknesses and stretches us in so many ways. Margaret Walker says "Love stretches your heart and makes you big inside."
Love is selfless, it puts others first. Robert Heinlein in "Stranger in a Strange Land" said Love is. . . "That condition whereby the happiness of another is essential to your own."
I desire to love like Christ but I know I often fall short of His standards and I constantly ask myself the question “what is love?”; I went digging and here are some of the answers I got.
Love is a strong positive emotion of regard and affection – Google
As an abstract concept, love usually refers to a deep, ineffable feeling of tenderly caring for another person. Even this limited conception of love, however, encompasses a wealth of different feelings, from the passionate desire and intimacy of romantic love to the nonsexual emotional closeness of familial and platonic love to the profound oneness or devotion of religious love. - Wikipedia
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. - 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, NIV
Love seeks no cause beyond itself and no fruit; it is its own fruit, its own enjoyment. I love because I love; I love in order that I may love. - St. Bernard 1090-1153, French Theologian and Reformer
Love is "The willful intent to serve the well being of another." - M. Scott Peck
Love is seeing an imperfect person perfectly. - Sam Keen
Love is the ability and willingness to allow those you care for to be what they choose for themselves, without any insistence that they satisfy you. - Leo Buscaglia
Love is friendship set on fire. - Jeremy Taylor
"Love has no awareness of merit or demerit; it has no scale... Love loves; this is its nature." - Howard Thurman
"Love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a habit." - Peter Ustinov
Logic says everything in this world has a cause and an effect. True Love is the only feeling which is its own cause and its own effect. It is something illogical and yet above all logic. I Love her because I Love her, and I Love her so I Love her. - Prateek Kumar Singh
Love is loving someone without expecting anything in return; no judgments, no restrictions; no limitations; no expectations! Love is expressed when you are being someone who loves someone for who they are, not who you think they should be. True love has a foundation of integrity, respect, faith and trust. Love is the force that brings about unity and harmony. – Larry James, Celebratelove.com
No matter the answers I get there is one thing I know from the experience of countless ‘lovers’ like me. Love is a decision. You have to decide to love regardless of what the other person does. This decision makes you look like a fool because you keep on loving those who act otherwise to you.
I have experienced hurt and pain, I have experienced situations where I have been cheated but my decision to keep on loving has kept me going. I have an idea of what Jesus was thinking when he said “forgive them for they know not what they are doing”. It hurts but I leave it in the hand of my father who sees and knows it all.
Love puts you on the path that pleases God so, do not stop loving. Remember, "In the final analysis, love is the only reflection of man's worth." - Bill Wundram, Iowa Quad Cities Times
Sunday, March 28, 2010
BELIEVE THE BEST OF EVERYONE YOU MEET
Assumptions destroy relationships. I know this because I have seen it happen several times.
You are working really hard in your company and bringing in a lot of money because you believe in doing your work as unto God and some of your colleagues assume you must be creaming the company through deals and then you hear the wicked whispers about you.
You are in a business relationship doing your best to be as transparent and honest as you can but the other party assumes you must be making a kill and decides to make sure you don’t make as much as they think you are making.
You are working late, doing your best to serve your organization and keep your family on the standard you desire and your spouse assumes you must be playing an 'away match' with someone else and then accuses you of infidelity.
There are countless examples but the end result remains the same – hurts, heartbreaks and broken relationships.
The worst result is the burden YOU end up carrying because of lack of trust. You read meanings into everything the other party says or does. You stress your spirit, soul and body and most times over what does not exist.
No relationship thrives without trust. Trust is the bedrock of true progress.
Why do you go into a relationship assuming that the worst would happen, assuming that the other party is a cheat?
STOP for a moment. Could it be that you are capable of cheating others that is why you think others are cheats? If you feel insulted by this, think about what your actions and words are doing to others.
Why don’t you free your mind and think the best of others? God does not sleep, he sees it all. Why don’t you let God be God and you be the human being he made you?
I recently had a business transaction where the contractor did not do what was agreed and when I complained, he began to threaten me and using sentences that included the phrase “…people like you”. I got the understanding that he had stereotyped me. I still don’t know what those people are like because I have spoken to several people including my lawyers and I did not in anyway want to cheat him.
Working or relating with people who stereotype you is a very difficult situation indeed. It’s like the saying “hang the dog and give it a bad name”. A man that has assumed that women are difficult clients will never listen to his female clients and will end up not getting their briefs right and then blaming them. It’s a tough call indeed, basing decisions on assumptions.
It is better to believe the best of everyone you meet and also be the best you can be in everything you get involved in and on this route, you will never fail to build great relationships.
You are working really hard in your company and bringing in a lot of money because you believe in doing your work as unto God and some of your colleagues assume you must be creaming the company through deals and then you hear the wicked whispers about you.
You are in a business relationship doing your best to be as transparent and honest as you can but the other party assumes you must be making a kill and decides to make sure you don’t make as much as they think you are making.
You are working late, doing your best to serve your organization and keep your family on the standard you desire and your spouse assumes you must be playing an 'away match' with someone else and then accuses you of infidelity.
There are countless examples but the end result remains the same – hurts, heartbreaks and broken relationships.
The worst result is the burden YOU end up carrying because of lack of trust. You read meanings into everything the other party says or does. You stress your spirit, soul and body and most times over what does not exist.
No relationship thrives without trust. Trust is the bedrock of true progress.
Why do you go into a relationship assuming that the worst would happen, assuming that the other party is a cheat?
STOP for a moment. Could it be that you are capable of cheating others that is why you think others are cheats? If you feel insulted by this, think about what your actions and words are doing to others.
Why don’t you free your mind and think the best of others? God does not sleep, he sees it all. Why don’t you let God be God and you be the human being he made you?
I recently had a business transaction where the contractor did not do what was agreed and when I complained, he began to threaten me and using sentences that included the phrase “…people like you”. I got the understanding that he had stereotyped me. I still don’t know what those people are like because I have spoken to several people including my lawyers and I did not in anyway want to cheat him.
Working or relating with people who stereotype you is a very difficult situation indeed. It’s like the saying “hang the dog and give it a bad name”. A man that has assumed that women are difficult clients will never listen to his female clients and will end up not getting their briefs right and then blaming them. It’s a tough call indeed, basing decisions on assumptions.
It is better to believe the best of everyone you meet and also be the best you can be in everything you get involved in and on this route, you will never fail to build great relationships.
Sunday, March 7, 2010
WHEN LIFE HAPPENS, WHAT DO YOU DO?
You have got it all figured out. You have made all the plans and bang! Life happens.
What is life? Opportunities, challenges, joys, sorrows, ups & downs.
No matter how carefully you planned, things can change suddenly.
In the book ‘Who Moved My Cheese?’ by Dr. Spencer Johnson, you see a classic example of how people react to changes in life. You need to read it because it will change the way you deal with changes. It will help you choose either to be reactive or responsive.
Two animals help me put our reactions to changes in perspective.
Are you an ostrich? When life happens, do you put your head in the sand and hope it gets sorted out by itself. That is living in denial. When life happens, you need to grab the bull by the horns and move it in the direction you want.
That you deny the existence of the sun does not change the fact that the sun exists.
Are you a lion? When life happens, you do not cower in your cage but you stride majestically to face it head on.
Yes, that’s the spirit. To succeed in life, you need the spirit of the lion. You need to be bold and courageous. You need to say ‘No!’ to fear and walk out to seek solutions to problems.
When life happens, be challenged to seek new ways of dealing with issues and situations.
Jack Welch said "Control your destiny or someone else will". At the end, your life is still your responsibility.
As a woman, especially in Africa, you may use your husband as an excuse for non-achievement but I tell you at the end, it will not hold water even to you.
When you know what you want, changes and challenges will not move you off your course rather they will help you sharpen your tools as you find new ways to navigate the twists and turns they throw onto your path.
Smith Wigglesworth became a great evangelist because his wife did not give up on her faith. When he harassed her for going to church, she was not moved to react rather she responded with love and that love eventually convicted him to salvation.
What if she had given up on her faith when he was locking her out even on cold and windy winter nights? We would never have had a Smith Wigglesworth as a father of faith.
When life happens, hang in there, do not give up. Hold on because there is always light at the end of every tunnel, but you will only see it when you go the whole hog to the end.
One thing that helps is having a goal. It helps keep you focused on the light at the end rather than the darkness in your immediate surroundings.
Its still early days in 2010, you can still decide on certain things, you can still have a goal for the year. Once you do, you become a magnet for the resources that you need for the achievement of your goal.
Also decide on remaining steadfast and resolute on the path to the achievement and you’ll see how creative ideas will come up every time life happens.
When life happens, take charge!
What is life? Opportunities, challenges, joys, sorrows, ups & downs.
No matter how carefully you planned, things can change suddenly.
In the book ‘Who Moved My Cheese?’ by Dr. Spencer Johnson, you see a classic example of how people react to changes in life. You need to read it because it will change the way you deal with changes. It will help you choose either to be reactive or responsive.
Two animals help me put our reactions to changes in perspective.
Are you an ostrich? When life happens, do you put your head in the sand and hope it gets sorted out by itself. That is living in denial. When life happens, you need to grab the bull by the horns and move it in the direction you want.
That you deny the existence of the sun does not change the fact that the sun exists.
Are you a lion? When life happens, you do not cower in your cage but you stride majestically to face it head on.
Yes, that’s the spirit. To succeed in life, you need the spirit of the lion. You need to be bold and courageous. You need to say ‘No!’ to fear and walk out to seek solutions to problems.
When life happens, be challenged to seek new ways of dealing with issues and situations.
Jack Welch said "Control your destiny or someone else will". At the end, your life is still your responsibility.
As a woman, especially in Africa, you may use your husband as an excuse for non-achievement but I tell you at the end, it will not hold water even to you.
When you know what you want, changes and challenges will not move you off your course rather they will help you sharpen your tools as you find new ways to navigate the twists and turns they throw onto your path.
Smith Wigglesworth became a great evangelist because his wife did not give up on her faith. When he harassed her for going to church, she was not moved to react rather she responded with love and that love eventually convicted him to salvation.
What if she had given up on her faith when he was locking her out even on cold and windy winter nights? We would never have had a Smith Wigglesworth as a father of faith.
When life happens, hang in there, do not give up. Hold on because there is always light at the end of every tunnel, but you will only see it when you go the whole hog to the end.
One thing that helps is having a goal. It helps keep you focused on the light at the end rather than the darkness in your immediate surroundings.
Its still early days in 2010, you can still decide on certain things, you can still have a goal for the year. Once you do, you become a magnet for the resources that you need for the achievement of your goal.
Also decide on remaining steadfast and resolute on the path to the achievement and you’ll see how creative ideas will come up every time life happens.
When life happens, take charge!
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