EMOTIONAL ABUSE DESTROYS

Emotional abuse destroys the very fabric of your individuality. You lose yourself, your dreams and your life. They say your conscience helps you discern right and wrong. Emotional abuse takes that ability away from you. You no longer know what to do per time, you no longer see your potentials.

You may be in a good job but you’ll only be working by rote, just putting one foot in front of the other and being careful not to fall. You could do that for years.

In physical abuse, the scars are evident and you can soothe and care for them till they’re healed. But in emotional abuse, neither you nor others can see the scars. They are so deep inside, they’re hard to reach.
When a few people try, it’s most times a futile effort. In fact, no matter how many kind words you hear, the words you hear inside yourself silence them all.

The most challenging thing is speaking up because even when you speak up, most times you get a negative label. She’s too emotional; she’s too sensitive; she wears her emotions on her sleeves; am sure she’s not doing something right; and it can go on and on and on. In fact, you’ll be surprised what your own friends would be saying about you. At a point, you may have no friend reaching out to you. They are tired, they’ve got their own issues and now that you’ve told them about yours they wouldn’t want to lose their façade of being put together. There’s something in people that make them want to present a persona of being better than others, even to those they claim to love.

Help is not forthcoming and the alternative is to become a poster child for an NGO. This is a path most people would never want to venture on.

And the effect of emotional abuse is debilitating. You lose your zest for life. Suddenly, there is drastic ballooning in weight or weight loss due to either comfort feeding or loss of appetite. Looking after yourself becomes a herculean task…this is when you begin to lose your friends; who wants to identify with someone who looks like a failure? You lose your ability to dream and your confidence in your abilities.

Emotional abuse usually leads to depression.

Emotional abuse has no respect for religion. Many have hidden in the bowels of religion but the struggle continues in there. In fact it may even get worse.

In Christendom, where I belong, it’s most often condemnation. The Bible says ‘you can do all things through Christ…’, ‘the joy of the Lord is your strength’, etc. They forget the same Bible says ‘be your brother’s keeper’, ‘mourn with those who mourn’, ‘love covers…’.

And Christianity is a religion based on LOVE, I wonder what it’s like for other religions.

Emotional abuse can be from a spouse or even a friend. Its stems most times from the things we SAY and do to others.

It is true that some people are more sensitive than others but that does not make them weak. God made each of us the way we are, for a purpose. Be the one that helps people discover their purpose not the one that stamps out their potentials. Be the helper of every destiny that you meet, every day; through your smile, your words and your acts.

For everyone you are privileged to meet or relate with, please show some love. Be a little bit more patient. Do not give up on them, lend a helping hand. Be there for them with a kind word, a text message, an email or just a smile. They may be going through something you don’t know about.

Yes, we have our bad hair days once in a while. Mmhn, let them remain ‘once in a while’. Immediately your bad hair days become daily, you need to see the doctor; maybe, you’re being emotionally abused?