EMOTIONAL ABUSE DESTROYS

Emotional abuse destroys the very fabric of your individuality. You lose yourself, your dreams and your life. They say your conscience helps you discern right and wrong. Emotional abuse takes that ability away from you. You no longer know what to do per time, you no longer see your potentials.

You may be in a good job but you’ll only be working by rote, just putting one foot in front of the other and being careful not to fall. You could do that for years.

In physical abuse, the scars are evident and you can soothe and care for them till they’re healed. But in emotional abuse, neither you nor others can see the scars. They are so deep inside, they’re hard to reach.

YOU COME FROM GOOD STOCK

Did someone tell you that you don’t qualify in recent times? Did they treat you like you do not count a while ago? Do you feel like other people’s lives are better than yours? Is your bank account unable to pay your bills? Do you feel you’re too short, fat, etc? Do you feel that you do not have what it takes? Is your life not reflecting your desires? Do you feel helpless? Do you feel overwhelmed?
Let me share this excerpt with you. Tell me what you think when you’re through.

WHEN LIFE HAPPENS, WHAT DO YOU DO?

You have got it all figured out. You have made all the plans and bang! Life happens.
What is life? Opportunities, challenges, joys, sorrows, ups & downs.
No matter how carefully you planned, things can change suddenly.
In the book ‘Who Moved My Cheese?’ by Dr. Spencer Johnson, you see a classic example of how people react to changes in life. You need to read it because it will change the way you deal with changes. It will help you choose either to be reactive or responsive.
Two animals help me put our reactions to changes in perspective.
Are you an ostrich? When life happens, do you put your head in the sand and hope it gets sorted out by itself. That is living in denial. When life happens, you need to grab the bull by the horns and move it in the direction you want.
That you deny the existence of the sun does not change the fact that the sun exists.
Are you a lion? When life happens, you do not cower in your cage but you stride majestically to face it head on.
Yes, that’s the spirit. To succeed in life, you need the spirit of the lion. You need to be bold and courageous. You need to say ‘No!’ to fear and walk out to seek solutions to problems.
When life happens, be challenged to seek new ways of dealing with issues and situations.
Jack Welch said "Control your destiny or someone else will". At the end, your life is still your responsibility.
As a woman, especially in Africa, you may use your husband as an excuse for non-achievement but I tell you at the end, it will not hold water even to you.
When you know what you want, changes and challenges will not move you off your course rather they will help you sharpen your tools as you find new ways to navigate the twists and turns they throw onto your path.
Smith Wigglesworth became a great evangelist because his wife did not give up on her faith. When he harassed her for going to church, she was not moved to react rather she responded with love and that love eventually convicted him to salvation.
What if she had given up on her faith when he was locking her out even on cold and windy winter nights? We would never have had a Smith Wigglesworth as a father of faith.
When life happens, hang in there, do not give up. Hold on because there is always light at the end of every tunnel, but you will only see it when you go the whole hog to the end.
One thing that helps is having a goal. It helps keep you focused on the light at the end rather than the darkness in your immediate surroundings.
Its still early days in 2010, you can still decide on certain things, you can still have a goal for the year. Once you do, you become a magnet for the resources that you need for the achievement of your goal.
Also decide on remaining steadfast and resolute on the path to the achievement and you’ll see how creative ideas will come up every time life happens.
When life happens, take charge!

LET THE REAL MEN IN THE HOUSE STAND UP

There are different types of men in the world. Some are ‘just men’; some are ‘real men’.
‘Just men’ are men because they have the features of the male anatomy; they have the masculine gender while real men are men for a lot of reasons.

Characteristics of real men
Real men’ do not fight. They are neither road hogs that want to bamboozle the rest of us off the roads nor are they road demons that cuss and quarrel on their wheels.

‘Real men’ do not use dirty words like the F--k or P---y or B---h words. They speak decently and never get so carried away they need to have their mouths washed out with soap and water.

‘Real men’ do not harass or intimidate, but they are gentle in their dealings and relationships. That is why they are also referred to as ‘Gentlemen’.

‘Real men’ value the women in their lives and treat them like the queens that they are. They bring out the best in their woman and prod her wings open so she can fly into her destiny. Real men support their women to become as great as their potentials.

‘Real men’ can compromise their comfort and convenience for their loved ones but can never compromise their integrity. They SAY IT like they MEAN IT and they DO IT like they say it. Their word is their honour and their bond.

‘Real men’ are not selfish. They are considerate of others and they show it. They do not use their positions to ‘acquire’ but rather they use it to improve the situation of others.

‘Real men’ set good examples. They know the importance of laying a good foundation for their children and families and they spend quality time bonding with them to impact positive values. They are role models.

‘Real men’ are great fathers. They are not too big to get down and play with their children. They create time to know their children better. They are not too bogged down with work and other commitments to give their children attention. Their children know that they are important to Daddy.

‘Real men’ fear God. They do not act God but they put God first in all that they do. They do not become alpha and omega but they are humble enough to recognize the alpha and the omega in others.

‘Real men’ listen to others. They are not know alls, rather they seek and value the input of those around them.

‘Real men’ are the gem of men. They are not easy to come by and when you know one, count it a privilege. Treat them with all respect because they deserve it. Make sure they know they are valuable to you.

Are you a ‘Real man’ out there? Please stand up to be counted.

I doff my hat to you and express my appreciations. Thank you for being the epitome of manhood. Thank you for being a ‘Real man’!