BELIEVE THE BEST OF EVERYONE YOU MEET

Assumptions destroy relationships. I know this because I have seen it happen several times.
You are working really hard in your company and bringing in a lot of money because you believe in doing your work as unto God and some of your colleagues assume you must be creaming the company through deals and then you hear the wicked whispers about you.
You are in a business relationship doing your best to be as transparent and honest as you can but the other party assumes you must be making a kill and decides to make sure you don’t make as much as they think you are making.
You are working late, doing your best to serve your organization and keep your family on the standard you desire and your spouse assumes you must be playing an 'away match' with someone else and then accuses you of infidelity.
There are countless examples but the end result remains the same – hurts, heartbreaks and broken relationships.
The worst result is the burden YOU end up carrying because of lack of trust. You read meanings into everything the other party says or does. You stress your spirit, soul and body and most times over what does not exist.
No relationship thrives without trust. Trust is the bedrock of true progress.
Why do you go into a relationship assuming that the worst would happen, assuming that the other party is a cheat?
STOP for a moment. Could it be that you are capable of cheating others that is why you think others are cheats? If you feel insulted by this, think about what your actions and words are doing to others.
Why don’t you free your mind and think the best of others? God does not sleep, he sees it all. Why don’t you let God be God and you be the human being he made you?
I recently had a business transaction where the contractor did not do what was agreed and when I complained, he began to threaten me and using sentences that included the phrase “…people like you”. I got the understanding that he had stereotyped me. I still don’t know what those people are like because I have spoken to several people including my lawyers and I did not in anyway want to cheat him.
Working or relating with people who stereotype you is a very difficult situation indeed. It’s like the saying “hang the dog and give it a bad name”. A man that has assumed that women are difficult clients will never listen to his female clients and will end up not getting their briefs right and then blaming them. It’s a tough call indeed, basing decisions on assumptions.
It is better to believe the best of everyone you meet and also be the best you can be in everything you get involved in and on this route, you will never fail to build great relationships.

WHEN LIFE HAPPENS, WHAT DO YOU DO?

You have got it all figured out. You have made all the plans and bang! Life happens.
What is life? Opportunities, challenges, joys, sorrows, ups & downs.
No matter how carefully you planned, things can change suddenly.
In the book ‘Who Moved My Cheese?’ by Dr. Spencer Johnson, you see a classic example of how people react to changes in life. You need to read it because it will change the way you deal with changes. It will help you choose either to be reactive or responsive.
Two animals help me put our reactions to changes in perspective.
Are you an ostrich? When life happens, do you put your head in the sand and hope it gets sorted out by itself. That is living in denial. When life happens, you need to grab the bull by the horns and move it in the direction you want.
That you deny the existence of the sun does not change the fact that the sun exists.
Are you a lion? When life happens, you do not cower in your cage but you stride majestically to face it head on.
Yes, that’s the spirit. To succeed in life, you need the spirit of the lion. You need to be bold and courageous. You need to say ‘No!’ to fear and walk out to seek solutions to problems.
When life happens, be challenged to seek new ways of dealing with issues and situations.
Jack Welch said "Control your destiny or someone else will". At the end, your life is still your responsibility.
As a woman, especially in Africa, you may use your husband as an excuse for non-achievement but I tell you at the end, it will not hold water even to you.
When you know what you want, changes and challenges will not move you off your course rather they will help you sharpen your tools as you find new ways to navigate the twists and turns they throw onto your path.
Smith Wigglesworth became a great evangelist because his wife did not give up on her faith. When he harassed her for going to church, she was not moved to react rather she responded with love and that love eventually convicted him to salvation.
What if she had given up on her faith when he was locking her out even on cold and windy winter nights? We would never have had a Smith Wigglesworth as a father of faith.
When life happens, hang in there, do not give up. Hold on because there is always light at the end of every tunnel, but you will only see it when you go the whole hog to the end.
One thing that helps is having a goal. It helps keep you focused on the light at the end rather than the darkness in your immediate surroundings.
Its still early days in 2010, you can still decide on certain things, you can still have a goal for the year. Once you do, you become a magnet for the resources that you need for the achievement of your goal.
Also decide on remaining steadfast and resolute on the path to the achievement and you’ll see how creative ideas will come up every time life happens.
When life happens, take charge!