Put Him First

I’ve been worried sick by different relationships in the past couple of days.

Some people in my life seemed like they were no longer there. Relationships seemed to have cooled off.

My messages were not returned and every appointment seemed impossible to meet.

My mind has been whirling with all kinds of concerns. I kept running every conversation through my mind to find where I may have made a mistake.

Did I do something? Was it something I said?

Several thoughts about the situation came and went in my mind. These thoughts flowed through my mind morning, noon and night. I woke up, lived through the day and went to bed with them.

This morning the Holy Spirit stopped me in my tracks with a question – “Why do you worry so much about your relationship with man who cannot determine the course of your life even with their best intentions? Why do you worry so much about man and leave your relationship with the Father unattended? You have not spoken to Him who holds your future in His hands nor sought His face and yet you wonder that your messages to a human remained unreturned?”

I had begun a Bible-in-a-year study and I had missed several days and I wasn’t really worried about it. Somewhere in my mind the thought was “I will get to it” and the days were piling up. I wasn’t worrying about getting to know Him better through His word but I was here dissecting every piece of communication and every moment of interaction with someone I felt was valuable to me. He who gave His all for me, just wanted a little of my time and I wasn’t bothered about giving Him any. Rather, I was hungering for this person’s call, text or message.

When last did I worry that I hadn’t spoken to ‘Him who first loved me’?

When last did I plan to spend time with Him? When last did I seek out his thought on that decision I am planning to make? When last did I worry about pleasing Him? When last did I comb through my day to make sure that I did not offend Him?  When last did I put Him first?

My foolishness is becoming very obvious and I wonder how many of us become encumbered by our relationships with humans and never give a thought to our relationship with our Loving Father.

How foolish I have been to worry about man who cannot turn God’s heart to me instead of ensuring that I was pleasing the God who has every man’s heart in His hand.

Am hoping I will live more wisely, learning to put my time and thoughts on Him instead of worrying about what man thinks, says or does.