For the mother
that’s not loved by the father of her children.
You know
yourself. You know your situation. And the Lord knows too, and this is His Word
for you.
You have been shown
and been told that you’re not loved by the father of your children. This may
have nothing to do with anything that you did or have not done, but this is the
situation that you’ve found yourself and it hurts. To make matters harder, you
share children with this man and the research out there about such situations
is scary.
Yes, you know that the
research says that children who grow up in homes where the father is absent,
are more likely to struggle with depression, anxiety, or schooling. Studies
even show that when a father is physically present but emotionally absent, they can leave
wounds just as deep as one who isn’t there at all.
When you look at your children
and then look at what you’re going through with their father, you worry. You may
even be seeing some behaviours from them that make you worry whether your
children are already a statistic. And you are terrified about their future.
But our God is an awesome God and He turns
scientific studies on their head.
Look at the story of Leah.
The Bible records that right from the
get-go, Leah was not loved and she knew it. But the Bible tells us that because
God saw that she was not loved, He opened her womb, He gave her
capabilities that her rival did not have. Also, from among the children of Leah,
the woman that was not loved, God established the lineage of the one that saved
us - the lineage of Jesus, the
Savior of the world.
He also did this in the story of Haggai. She
was not loved. In fact, she was used, abused and thrown out. But the Lord
established the lineage of her son Ishmael.
In Leah and Haggai’s story, we see that God
knows and sees women in such situations. In fact, Haggai was the one that first
called God, El Roi - the God that sees me, in the bible.
So if you are a woman
who knows what it is to be unloved and emotionally abandoned, and you are
worried about your children’s outcomes, please hear this: the statistics do
not get the final say. Social workers do not get the final say.
Psychologists and therapists do not get the final say. Your God does.
Your children may even
be grappling with challenges from this situation already, but know that God can
still step in. In fact, He will definitely step in.
Yes, the world’s
numbers say your children are at risk. But the Word of God says your children
are blessed. The world’s reports predict brokenness. God’s Word declares
restoration. Where man’s absence leaves a wound, God’s presence brings healing.
You may also be living with the guilt of
having put yourself and your children in this situation by not leaving. But you
also know that the situation you’ve found yourself is so complicated by various
realities that you only have the emotional bandwidth to do what you can where
you are at this time.
Your God sees you. Even if your mistakes
led you here, He will not abandon you. That is His promise in Romans 8:38, nothing
can separate you from His love.
Take your eyes off the
man who does not love you and focus your thought and mind on the God who does.
He is writing a story for you and your children that no study, no statistic,
and no physically or emotional absent father can destroy. It is well with you
and your children.
In Jesus Mighty Name.
Amen.
