C. Joybell C., a leading female thinker
and award-winning writer, said “The only thing that makes our gender weaker, is
the fact that we are the gender less likely to stand up for the other. We are
the gender more likely to try and make another look bad, and when one of us is
already bad, instead of being kind, we pound them into the ditches. And that's
what makes us weak, nothing else. If we can change this, we can change the
whole structure of our being female, I truly believe this. Personally, I grew
up admiring other women and wanting to be friends with them, but unfortunately,
I learned the hard way that they were the ones who would hurt me. Women hurt other
women all too often, and that's a fact.” Do these words sound familiar to you?
Today is International Women’s Day. A day
set aside to celebrate and encourage women. On this day different organizations
will join the “me too” bandwagon, in their bid to be politically correct. Today
multinationals, non-profits, governments, political juggernauts and doyens of industry
will roll out a gamut of advertisements, speeches, events and social media to
endorse women’s empowerment and commemorate March 8. But after all these
activities what comes next? Do women really become stronger and more confident,
especially in controlling their life and claiming their rights, because of
these activities?
From the experiences shared by women like
C. Joy C and many others, the empowerment of women is more than the activism on
podiums and parks promoted in the media. True empowerment of women comes from
the bonds of genuine sisterhood. When women rise to support other women,
beginning from within their communities, all women are strengthened – both the
supporter, the supported and the community at large. Without a sisterhood that
builds the broken, supports the weak and unites the divided, women empowerment
may very well be all bluff and bluster.
This is not the social media support to a
woman far away whom you may never meet or the advocacy against a perceived or
anticipated wrong. Activism is good but let us start by healing and helping
fellow women near us. Begin with women at work, your neighbour, your clients,
the little girl in your class. Do it not because it makes you look good but
because there is strength in unity. How can you claim to support those you don’t
know when those who know you are languishing? The sisterhood is around first,
before abroad.
In our bid for this empowerment, we hear
it said directly or implied that men hold us down but for many the worst pain has
come more often from fellow women than men. From female supervisors who are
insensitive to the working conditions of pregnant staff, to female helping
professionals stigmatizing their female clients. What about that fear that
makes struggling women keep their challenges to the point of death rather than
expose themselves to the ridicule and stigma from sisters who use their tongues
as weapons of mass destruction? Nobody really wants to be branded with their
challenge. From Church to the secular world, from mosque to school, we see
women who amplify the limitations of their kind instead of supporting them
through it.
For women to be truly empowered, the
sisterhood needs to be all-encompassing, welcoming and accommodating. Some may
disagree and say that there is a sisterhood of women that is all these and more,
because they have a sisterhood of friends or faith partners. However, the
sisterhood that will remove the barriers to the empowerment of women cannot
afford to be that narrow. Genuine sisterhood will have to be one that embraces
and supports everyone that needs it regardless of age, colour, status or creed.
As Barbara W. Winder, the 11th general president of the Relief
Society of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints says, “We can have
unity in diversity and diversity in unity. We don't have to be like one another
to enjoy sisterhood.”
On this International Women’s Day, let us
remember that men are in many cases not the enemy. For many women in our world
today, the enemy is another woman, whether a colleague at work, a church or
mosque member, a mother-in-law or even a “friend”. As we give those speeches
and write those posts, today, let us remember that the sisterhood needs to be
strong to truly empower the sisters. We women need to start reaching out of our
comfort circles to the different whether in opinion, position, status, or any
other, because as Robin Benway puts it, “there’s one thing stronger than magic:
sisterhood”.
